10 Wines For The Lottery Losers
You watched intently as those important lottery numbers were drawn this week. As each number came up, you slowly realized that you were not going to be the big lottery winner. All those dreams, cars, vacations, and kids college are down the drain…. again! After the numbers were drawn and my ticket was thrown in the garbage, my gal asked me: “If you won the lottery tonight, would you still love me?” And I told her very sweetly, “Of course I would Honey. I would miss you, but I would still love you.”
So like you, I did not win the lottery but here are 10 great wine buys to help drown your sorrows and maybe even give you a little encouragement for the upcoming weeks. And hopefully help you get over the money windfall that did not happen:
Broke Ass Red Wine (Fecovita Wines, Argentina) – Yes, it is back to scraping up pennies and searching the couch cushions for cash. You are broke and can hardly afford bologna let alone a bottle of wine. Good news is that this little gem is only about $6 a bottle and it will have to suffice as one of your new favorite wines, like it or not!
Andrew Rich Roussanne (Columbia Valley, Washington) – You did not win the lottery so you are definitely not rich. Your wallet has moths flying out each time you open it. But you can feel rich and taste rich instead! This is a great little Roussanne from Washington state that has flavors of citrus, stone fruits, and a nice mineral finish. Here is your way to get Rich! Average of $20 a bottle.
The Ball Buster Red Blend (Tait Wines- Australia) – He is there at work waiting for you….yes, he is your Ball Busting Boss! Since you lost the lottery, you will have to face him again this week. Just like George Jetson’s boss “that Slave Driver, Mr Spacely!” Well, you can’t fire him but you can twist his cork off and show him who is really boss! A Shiraz based blend that is rich, flavorful, and has many high ratings. Average of $21 a bottle.
Orin Swift “The Prisoner” Red Blend (Napa Valley) – If you have a job you do not enjoy, you definitely feel like a prisoner most days. What you need is a big, lush, full bodied red blend to make you feel important and rich! This Zinfandel based red breaks through the heavy chains and shackles of your job and brings back those goals to motivate you to get out and experience the good things in life! Great ratings and average of $45 a bottle.
Banknote “Counterfeit” Chardonnay (Napa Valley) – Times could be tough now since you have dropped many “banknotes” to buy all those hopeful winning lottery tickets. Don’t go to the dark side and do anything illegal like printing up counterfeit money to pay your bills. The closest you should come to that is buy this tasty Banknote Counterfeit Chardonnay instead! Flavors of pear, apricot, and a toasty vanilla finish should keep you on track and subdue any negligent thoughts. Average of $22 a bottle.
Boone’s Farm Wines – This is the original “Two Buck Chuck” but much more fun! Very affordable, especially with the money you have left after buying all those lottery tickets. Plus you can probably afford 3 or 4 bottles a week, even on your meager salary. Even though you are terribly broke, don’t go “buy the farm” unless you are going to buy Boone’s Farm! A plethora of fruity flavors that go down very easy….and you need easy right now. Average of $3.25 a bottle.
Therapy Pinot Noir (BC, Canada) – You were so positive you were going to win the big bucks and you are shocked that you are still living your mundane life. You need Therapy in more ways than one! This Pinot Noir is full of bright cherry, leather, and a nice spicy finish should perk you right up! Just pour a glass, lay on the couch, and gaze into Sigmund Freud’s face on the bottle. You will feel better. Average of $16 a bottle.
Blue Nun Riesling (Germany) – If therapy was not enough for you, maybe you should speak to a higher power about your lottery loss. Why not confide with your local nun for support? She is mostly Riesling with a sweet, fruity taste and will smooth out all your money problems…..at least for awhile. Newer labels are out there now but still affordable at about $9.
Mad Housewife Wines (California) – This could also be a wine for your upset husband. You spent your vacation money on lottery tickets and didn’t tell your significant other. For Shame! You have some ‘splainin’ to do when you get home tonight! This bright and cheery wine from California should keep you out of the doghouse for a few more days…..at least until the next lottery anyway! Happy wife, Happy life. Average of $9 a bottle.
Oreana Project Happiness Syrah (Calif) – How could this happy bottle of wine NOT make you happy and forget all your problems and woes? Look close and it could be your mirror reflection on the bottle….. you look happy! Dark berry and plummy flavors with a hint of sweetness. Very easy going and smooth. It may just pair well with Ramen Noodles and hot dogs, your new affordable dinner choices. Doesn’t that make you happy? Well, at about $7 a bottle, it should!
If this was not enough wine to lift your spirits, you can always try some good, dependable wines as back up:
Cheap Red or Cheap White Wines – Affordable elegance. Charles Shaw 3 Buck Chuck – (was known as 2 Buck Chuck) – A Trader Joe’s legend. Naked Wines – When you sold it all and gave the shirt off your back for more chances at winning the lottery. Oops Wines – When you spent too much money on lottery tickets……..Again! HaHa Wines (New Zealand) – When you finally win a few bucks back from the lottery. You can laugh and say “I told you so!”
It is a great day when you can win the lottery and celebrate it with an uberly special wine! For most of us, it will never happen. But you can always enjoy a good, fun wine with a meal and good friends and feel like royalty! Cheers!