Catastrophic Wines! (or Wines For The End of the World)

Mayan Pyramid

Mayan Pyramid

So with less than 10 days left until the end of the world, do you pray, prep your home for doomsday, or party? A vacation this time of year sounds wonderful and just screaming out that “I am going to DisneyWorld” has a pleasant ring to it. If you have been keeping up with the news lately, I am sure you have heard that our time left on this earth may have come to an end. That thousands of years ago, the Mayans predicted the end of the world would happen on December 21, 2012. Well, they may not have actually predicted any real demise, but the Mayan calendar does end this December 21 so many are feeling that this is a sign of the end times. The Mayans were considered geniuses when it came to astronomy and knew the universe and the heavens like the back of their hands. The Mayans built an amazing 78 foot tall pyramid which is actually an astronomical calendar with 4 sides and 91 steps on each side. When you include the platform at the top of the pyramid as another single step, you have 365 steps. Each day of the year, the shadows fall on a different step, marking the passage of the sun. So the people who are so dedicated to astronomy and the calendar probably knows quite a bit about time and possibly how long we have left to spend on this earth.

So do we spend our last days stockpiling our basements with water and canned goods or do we party it up?! We are going to take the optimistic approach and say that we will all still be here Christmas shopping on December 22 this year. But in case you are attending one of the many End of the World parties that are popping up or maybe you even want to host one, what wines do you bring or serve? Well, here is a tongue in cheek guide to some great wine ideas that would be perfect to celebrate our last days:

Mischief & Mayhem Chardonnay

Mischief & Mayhem Chardonnay

We just love the name Mischief & Mayhem and who wouldn’t want to walk into an End of the World party with one of these wines tucked in your arm? These wine producers out of Burgundy, France brings the best out of this region with some tasty Chardonnays and Pinot Noirs. Excellent wines from Chablis and the Cote d’Or that are fun and fairly priced.

Witches Falls Winery Prophecy

Witches Falls Winery Prophecy

Witches Falls Winery Prophecy Shiraz has intense dark berry, black cherry, and cedary oak flavors. From the Granite Belt growing region in Queensland, Australia, this Shiraz has already won many awards including a gold medal at the 2010 New England Wine Show. We hope this Prophecy is in your near future.

AC/DC Wine Line

AC/DC Wine Line

Staying with the Australian theme, the famed rock band AC/DC has their own wine line using the names of their songs for their wine names. You would be the Master of Disaster bringing a Highway to Hell Cabernet Sauvignon or Thunderstruck Chardonnay to your End of the World party!

Wrath Destruction Sauvignon Blanc

Wrath Destruction Sauvignon Blanc

How about some wines and wineries named after possible destructive forces or even just the forces of nature? Meteor Vineyard out of Napa Valley, California has an amazing Cabernet Sauvignon that is rich, plush, and has flavors of blackberries, mocha, and fennel. Volcano Winery on the Big Island of Hawaii grows their own grapes and island fruits and turns them into some fun and flavorful wines! They even have a honey wine that is made from 100% locally grown Macadamia Nut honey. Definitely a sweet sipper while reminiscing about days gone by. Regan Wines of Napa Valley bring you Lucky Tornado Meritage blend that is 60% Cabernet Sauvignon and 40% Merlot. This is a wine we feel will blow you away! Wrath Winery in Monterey, California makes a very tasty Wrath Destruction Level Sauvignon Blanc which would fit well into any End of the World party!

Earthquake from Michael David Winery

Earthquake from Michael David Winery

The Michael David Winery in Lodi, California seems to have a penchant for all the vices and prophecies of the world! Their list of wines include Earthquake, Rapture, Sixth Sense, Gluttony, Sloth, Lust, and Rage. And even though they produce wines like the 7 Deadly Zins, they also give us some optimism and a ray of hope with 7 Heavenly Chards. During prohibition, the Michael David Winery shipped many different fruits including 15 wine varietals around the country with instructions on “how not to have the grapes turn into wine”.

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

For those who are very determined and aggressive, these wines may be worth the effort and money to find. Chateau Voskevaz in Armenia has produced a selection of wines that will be sold in Russia in 2012. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse was inspired by a very changeable growing season in that area and so the chateau yielded four very different types of wines. These are limited editions and very hard to find.

Cuvee Bugarach Grenache at the foot of Pic de Bugarach

Cuvee Bugarach Grenache at the foot of Pic de Bugarach

The small hamlet of Bugarach, France has the population of 200 but some of the gossip going around is that the only survivors from the upcoming Apocalypse may only be from that town. Supposedly, extra-terrestrials live in the rock cavities beneath the Pic de Bugarach mountain and will swoop up the 200 or so local residents just as the Apocalypse begins on December 21st. And so the Cuvee Bugarach is born and it will help you get in touch with those extra-terrestrials as you wait at the bottom of that mountain. This is a Grenache wine made by winemaker Jean Pla. On the wine label, it states that “If there’s only one left, I shall be that one“.

Allstates Mayhem Wine packaging

Allstates Mayhem Wine packaging

Two ad agencies have produced Apocalyptic wines or wine labels for corporate gifts this year which are very creative and fun! We are not sure if you can actually get any of these wines or labels but just had to put them out there. Allstate Auto Insurance promotes “Mayhem” on their television commercials to show you how easy it can be to get into a car accident. Why not promote Mayhem in a bottle? It depicts the trials and tribulations of the wine processing and what the bottle went through to make it to your table. http://www.cannespredictions.com/index.php/2012/05/10/allstate-insurances-mayhem-wine-bottle/  Allstate is hoping to be considered for a Design Lion from the Cannes Design jury.

StudioIn Apocalyptic wine label

StudioIn Apocalyptic wine label

And the StudioIn ad agency designed a 2012 Apocalyptic wine bottle that lists 14 of most talked about scary scenarios of how we could all meet our maker. Meteor shower, pole shift, and glaciers melting are just a few of the disasters listed. It is “scary” but hoping to poke a little fun at the same time. http://www.thedieline.com/blog/2011/12/20/studioins-2012-apocalypse-wine.html

There are so many ways to go and so many wines to taste! Many of these wines are available on the winery websites or at your favorite online wine seller. If you order this week, you should be able to get your wine before any demise we may experience on December 21, 2012. This reminds us of the Y2K situation almost 13 years ago. Everyone thought the worst and nothing major actually happened. A few computers crashed and there were data storage situations at some smaller companies but nothing that really affected us or our well being. We feel that this December 21, 2012 will be the mark of our Winter Solstice and nothing else. In our opinion, if the Mayans were so smart, they could have predicted their own demise and they would still be here today! Actually, there are people living in the Crichen Itza region of Mexico and are known as Mayans. Maybe the ancient Mayans never finished their calendar because they got busy in their own lives and had their own parties to attend. Maybe some extra-terrestrials swooped up the ancient Mayans and they never returned to finish their calendar. Whatever your school of thought may be, this December 21, 2012 should be a day to celebrate some good wines with good family and friends. Celebrate life! Celebrate the Winter Solstice! Celebrate that the days will now start to get longer with more daylight! Or celebrate the End of the World. Since we probably won’t be here for the Real End of the World, why not celebrate it now!? Just don’t waste your life drinking bad wine. WineSplashing!!

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